The Ex Granny Wrangler

Somewhere out there, there's a senile old purple rinse who smells of cabbages, refuses to be bathed, and has "My Trip To Prague" printed across her floral cotton nightdress. I'm about to look after her. Hostile? No. Hilarious? Hopefully. Enjoy.

26 July 2007

Tyred.

For those of you who have seen A Good Year (girls for Russell Crowe, or, guys, because you wanted to get into her pants so decided to go in ...

13 July 2007

Teacher, Teacher!

One of the many advantages of living in the UK, alongside Waitrose home delivery (O-ka-O-ka-DO) and stab-wound-free public transport (except...

12 July 2007

Where You Love From.

You've so distracted me, Your absence fans my love. Don't ask how. Then you come near. "Do not..." I say, and "Do not...

11 July 2007

Any Unattended Luggage Will Be Destroyed.

This is a final boarding call for all passengers on flight FO 69, that's Foxtrot Oscar 69, to Anywhere But My Sodding House, now departi...

09 July 2007

Strip Search.

Must remember to breathe. Must remember to breathe. Rainbows and fairies and squirrels, oh my! Granadilla lollies. Pony rides. Smarties. Bre...

06 July 2007

Monthly Performance Report

Today's the last day at el Hedge Fund, so herewith my final Monthly Performance Report: The Temporary K.A.T.E* Fund finished June with a...

04 July 2007

Not Your Average Tent Pole.

In a scene reminiscent of Zimbabwe 2004, I have once again found myself subject to living in close proximity to what can only be described a...

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