This is a final boarding call for all passengers on flight FO 69, that's Foxtrot Oscar 69, to Anywhere But My Sodding House, now departing from gate 1. Passengers are advised that all bags will be subjected to a thorough search and any silver, jewellery, electronic equipment or money found will be confiscated and Bitch Slaps will be issued. Please ensure you have all items of clothing, including cheap extensions and unwashed microscopic thongs, safely stashed and refrain from any form of hugging or kissing as you leave the boarding gate as infectious diseases and sheer violation of basic human rights are not tolerated by the Airports Company of My House. All liquids on your person must either be swallowed or be restricted to 100ml containers. This includes any form of lubrication, Gentian Violet or gynaecological ointments. Thank you for flying with us, we look forward to never seeing you ever again. Now Foxtrot Oscar, you sif little skank.
11 July 2007
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6 comments:
Sounds like you finally stripped your moer!
With regards to the liquids, one can safely assume that she will have no problem swallowing!!
I'm still mystified by the gentian Violet. Not that I really want to think about it in too much depth.
Awwww. Looks like the two of you really bonded.
revo: nice.
betenoir: lets keep "gentian violet" and "depth" well separated, mmmkay?
kyk: pillow fights in our knickers and hours swopping stickers. sheer poetry i tell you.
Looks like you don't care which exit she uses, so long as she gets the f*** out :)
Did she, uh, leave a forwarding address? Just, erm, curious, like...
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