If you cast your little eye upwards you'll have noticed that as of today, I'm as free as a pair of Scottish testicles in a tornado! The Wrangling she is over. And I am making absolutely no effort to contain myself. None whatsoever. The glass of bubbles, the bath of bubbles and the number of friends who have lost hearing in one ear from me screaming like a bloody banshee down their phone lines can all attest to that. Never again shall i suffocate in a hot car when grandma's dropped one and can't smell it. Never again will i have to cook another f*cking omelette and chips. Never EVER again will i look at another purple rinse trying to cross the road and think to myself, "ag, shame". Step out grandma, step riiiight on out there. In fact, quite frankly, if a plague of locusts flew in tomorrow and gobbled up every old person on the planet (except Cher, they may mistake her for a blow up pool toy) I'd be pretty ok with that. N'er again another bottom shall i wipe nor a urine sample shall i decant. I am footloose, most fancy and utterly free!
Now I just need to find a bloody job. Cr*p.
09 April 2007
Ouma's Rusks And That's It.
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15 comments:
Freeeeeddddooooommmmmmm.... RAWR
Congrats GW!
Although I'm ecstatic for you, I can't help but feel slightly upset that I shall never read about old people's loose sphincter muscles, Muppet's farm porn and viagra pills!
Good luck with finding a job!
Haibo! Thees is TOO naice! That's grannies ees no longer making a crazy theengs? Ah, thees GOOD! They's musn't be making a crazy thing in the car, and also not being crossing thems road with thems 60's hairdo.
There is a place who ees looking for a 'grandpa handler' ees the same kind of theeng, only with a grandpa wow wow wee waa is NAICE job you weel LIKE it TOO MAACH! They make a naice jobs
Maybe you could become a professional underwear hanger??
Or a Womble Wrangler???
phlippy: that sure was an almighty RAWR sailor...
mark: i know, its gonna take some getting used to but i'll work something out for you. i promise.
mike: shamwari. crack before breakfast again? shame on you. ;)
revo: what about a victoria's secret model?
Well, it's kinda pointless being a secret model, that way no-one ever knows or recognises you.
How about secret agent??
You can like go undercover at old age homes and no-one would be any the wiser?
heehee - I doubt any job you get could be worse than what you've had to do ;P
revo: nah, secret model way cooler. that way, when i disrobe in front of tied up individual he'll recognise me.
chewsy: i don't know hey, advertising is almost on a par.
err...omelettes AND chips? shit - you thought the cholesterol would have taken them away a looong time ago
TGW - no more purple/blue rinse. Sadness is. Ah a drink in CPT should be lovely. Very nice indeed.
urk: given half the chance i woulda got to them before the cholesterol did. wrinkled little fuckers.
lush: trust you made it back with all your luggage? a glass of bubbles we shal have. mail me your number...
you should become a superhero. Or a spy, like in Alias. Or get paid to eat chocolate and watch movies. Those are all my dream jobs.
Ah a job.. wouldn't that be nice. You and me both.
You stop writing on here, and I'LL be the one dispensing great big Comng-To-Jesus-Fuck-Slaps... :)
betenoir: ooooo... heroes....
godsgimp: but the kind of 'job' you're after may differ from what i have in mind... ;)
phuzzy: >>bends over cheekily<<
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