Spring With Dick And Jane.

When you think of spring you think of daffodils. You think of newborn fluffy lambs frolicking in the lush green grass as butterflies flutter on the gentle breeze. Bunnies chew on dandelions, their tails wiggling in delight. Birds twitter and kerfuffle in the trees and bluebells nod in the forest glades. You think of the perfect story book Spring.

But you would be wrong.

There's a different story over here. Picture if you will, England in the spring:

See Dick.
See Jane.
See the sun. The sun is shining. This is rare.
Dick likes spring. Dick likes beer more. See Dick drink in public. Drink Dick(head) drink.
Dick is drunk. It is breakfast. He is a f*cking hero.
Spring is sunny. Sun makes Dick remove his shirt. Dick is not at the beach. Dick is at the shops. Dick does not care. See Dick's pasty nipples. Dick's nipples love spring. Dick loves his pasty nipples. Jane does too. And Jane loves Dick. A lot. See the stretch marks around Jane's mouth. See Jane's three prams. Yes Dick Yes!
Dick is a shirtless, pale, scrawny, drunken, pasty lascivious little motherf*cker who uses Spring as an excuse to expose his nipples to the world at every goddamn opportunity he f*cking well gets and runs around pomping Jane just like the f*cking bunnies in the story you wish you were reading instead.

Run me run.