Fuck. This. Shit. I'm on the warpath. Anybody who posts in any 'humour' section today and fails to make me laugh, get the fuck out of my way because i swear to the King of fucking Fray Bentos I will fucking kill you until you fucking die. Don't make me spell out PMS you fucking unfunny people.
God, i'm such a stroppy little bitch. A bloody good smacked bottom is what I need. *sigh*
22 May 2007
Tuesday Tourettes #2
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16 comments:
hmm. I am not sure that made me laugh. And I post in the humour section so I am also looking to produce -- and receive -- laughs. Maybe you do need a good spanking. This Spankmommy is certainly all for 'n blerrie good hiding...as you would see if you stopped by my site and read my musings on child discipline. I challenge you not to laugh at the Crabmommy. Please come over and keep a straight face. nd if you don't laugh, I will klap you onetime.
Right. Just for that, I'm going to post my latest infrastructure assessment report and if that doesn’t make you beg for lame-ass jokes about rugby, I hereby pledge to spank you at the earliest available opportunity.
Erm, does this have anything at all to do with the other day's comment about "restraint"...?
Just asking.
call me and I'll tell you a joke, that is both heinously bad and will make you laugh like a hyena.
Hahahahaha - OK, I better get something funny up quickly!
**smack,smack,**
**spank,spank**
**grope,lick**
Hey, you're wearing granny panties???
A momento perhaps or has your previous profession resulted in a particular fetish?
crabs: you're not sure, i'm not sure. lets call it even?
kyk: promises, promises.
mart: i've created a monster. yes! yes! by god he *does* have a 'dirty' gene :)
betenoir: owing to a recent Facebook fallout, Transatlantic Calls and My Wallet wouldn't be friends. My Email, however, is very friendly...
phlippy: i'm not even going to say it.
revo: KFC for brekkie again? think of your waistline sweetheart. and no, they're called 'lace french knickers'.
Whats wrong G, chicken???
nah, it doesn't work over email, as it requires audience participation.
Okay hold that thought. one day we'll be in the same country at the same time, surely.And I'll remember the joke...till then.
Tastes like chicken...
"You know what?" says the seven year-old. "I think it's time we started swearing."
The four year-old nods approvingly.
‘When mum asks what we want for breakfast today, I'm going to swear first. You swear after me, okay?"
"Okay," agrees the four-year-old enthusiastically.
So when their mother walks into the kitchen and asks them what they want to eat, the seven-year-old says: "Oh shit, mum, I'll have some Coco Pops."
WHACK!
He is sent flying from his chair, before scrambling upstairs in floods of tears.
Then the mother turns to the four-
year-old and asks sternly: "And what do you want, young man?"
"Fuck knows," he blubbers, "but it sure as hell won't be Coco Pops!"
I tried - so don't shoot me if I didn't manage to get you to at least chuckle!
revo: don't talk with your mouth full poppet, i can't understand a word you're saying!
betenoir: i shall hold you to it.
fuzzy: what? children? i agree.
jin: hahahahahaaa. well done. you can live another day :)
Hello! Someone told me you're actually hot in real life. That's awesome. I'll start reading your shit now... who knows... maybe you're actually funny too! ;)
kev: i swear, my keyboard *melts* when i sit down each morning. its getting expensive. and yes, maybe i am funny, although my blog is listed in the humour section so that could be somewhat debatable. stick around, we have naked mud wrestling on thursdays, and fridays are get-drunk-and-shoot-ping-pong-balls days. you're gonna love it.
Wow. Fray Bentos and fuck in the same post. Respect.
Fancy linking?
yeah....
you totally need a good hard rogering or something.
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