So, like, I can be a little outspoken at times. I know, I know, you wouldn’t think, would you? Well last night I can safely say I truly outdid myself.
The dinner conversation went something like this…
Me: What a lovely painting you have framed on your wall over there
(nose begins to grow faster than a cabbage in a cow pat)
Did one of your grandchildren paint that for you?
BFG: Excuse me?
Me: That painting which bears some semblance of a chicken (gulp) chatting with a see-through fish and what appears to be two fried eggs flying in the sky with a lopsided punk-ass star. (The exact wording isn’t important). Did one of your grandchildren paint it?
BFG: (Insert look of sheer horror/amazement/nausea) That is a Braque.
Me (aside): What the f*ck is a Braque?!? Other than vomit on a canvas.
BFG: He’s a very famous artist.
I pour a dash of single cream into my steaming bowl of humble pie.
Me: Oh. I didn’t realize. It looks like something I could have painted when I was in grade one.
Can anybody spell “apoplexy”?
23 October 2006
Of Feet & Mouths
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7 comments:
I hope you still get paid if she pops her clogs.
Ouch. Bet you went a bright red.
Maybe it was painted by Braque when he was a little kid?
kyk: even at 95 i don't think this old duck's going anywhere, apoplexy or not. It didn't exactly help either that she was an Art teacher in her day!
mark: Now, see why didn't i come up with that at the time?! Can i keep you? pretty please?
You can keep me, in a little matchbox, in your pocket, always armed with a sharp comeback.
Warning: This product requires batteries and does not always operate immediately.
All the best things in life require batteries it would seem ;)
Haha... I'm impressed. You provided a good quick comeback. You don't need me anymore!
Or did you sit there for hours wondering how to respond?
I'm proud to say it hit me like a bolt from the blue.
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