The Ex Granny Wrangler

31 October 2006

Whale Oil Beef Hooked.

I can’t get over these british accents. For such a tiny little puddle of mud, it never ceases to amaze me how many different ways there are to say something. Take broccoli for instance. Brocklee, brawclay, brohalay, brawklee, brohlee, glahchenfwilldergrish, if you’re welsh, and, if you’re just an eastend dirty knickers type, dem veg whoh are gween yeah?.
Is this just standard no matter which part of the world you in? Is a different accent warranted for every 100 km travelled? Sorry, make that 62.137 myowz.
Quite frankly, and I’ll readily admit, perhaps my ignorance, if that’s what it is, is due to my decidedly colonial upbringing. For me Durbs, Joburg, Cape Town and a general Vrystaat accent are pretty easy to distinguish between. When it comes to the locals however, the best I can do is ‘he’s from zim and he’s from South Africa’. Is this just me being a typically ignorant whitey?
Being a foreigner here, I really have to engage my ears and brain every time I ask anyone for anything and when the posh old BFG talks about orphans all the time, I take me ages to realize that she’s not pulling a Madonna on the crowd but rather referring to something which happens with regular occurrence. Mind you, if I had a pound for every time I’ve been asked if I’m from Australia I’d never have to wipe another bum or boil a piece of brawklee til it resembles the remnants of some student’s 3am kebab.
I ask you with tears in my eyes, do I look like I’d like to spend a romantic weekend curled up in front of the fire with Dolly the sheep?! For f*ck’s sake.


Anonymous said...

Cheer up, maybe you'll beef hooked prop lee when your current stint with BFG ends.

The xGW said...

i live in hope... ;)

Anonymous said...

You just have to watch Little Britain to get your answer.

Know what I mean?

I love that show:

"Social worker: All I want to know Vicky is where is your baby?
Vicky Pollard: Oh, I swapped it for a Westlife CD.
Social worker: Oh my God, how could you.
Vicky Pollard: I know, they're rubbish."

The xGW said...

LMAO! :)

Revolving Credit said...

What does it take to turn a Granny Wrangler into a Granny Strangler

The xGW said...

Not much.

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