Enter Miss Piggy.

In a rare reprieve from The Muppet Show, this weekend saw princess fleeing to the big city in search of the finer comforts life has to offer and where better to indulge one's pomposity and delusions of grandeur than in the world's finest department store. Yes, using her squirrel-lined gloves to beat a path through the swarm of animal rights activists dirtying the streets of Knightsbridge she ducked through the green doors of Harrods narrowly missing a sweaty barrage of All Stars and Birkenstocks which pelted the glass behind her and headed straight for Morelli's Gelato, pausing ever so briefly to shed a tear of happiness as she passed the shoe section.

Morelli's is famed for it's claim that, given 24 hours notice, they will whip up any flavour your creative little heart desires, be it Vinegar, Baked Beans on Toast or Spring Onion & Bitter Chocolate. Seeing as we had neither the 24hours nor the black AmEx we opted for something a little more run-of-the-mill. As run-of-the-mill as Harrods can be at any rate.

Menus were perused, bank managers were consulted and fantasy-sized sundaes, complete with lashings, shavings and drizzlings (sordid indeed), were consumed until buttons popped, livers imploded and manicured fingers were forced down throats as knees and tiles connected on gilt bathroom floors, our faces turning Harrods Green.

By God it was worth every carrot.