Hollandaise Sauce!

I can’t believe it’s taken me so long to mention Exceptionally Delicious Bum (EDB – which, ironically, could also be a shortened version of EDiBle). There’s a family connection there and he often pops in to see Lemony, mow the lawn (a la desperate housewives) and do all the general boy stuff which needs doing (I make a little ‘to do’ list from time to time. He’s on it.). If you were to see the kindness and selflessness you’d be knocked off your feet. He is an exceptional man – with an exceptionally delicious bum. Oh and he’s Dutch which makes him all yummy and foreign-like too. And don’t get me wrong, when I say Dutch, we’re not talking your average Vrystaat oke from Kimberly. This one’s a proper clogs and café one, fresh off the streets of Amsterdam, baby!

So anyway, it is the little visits from the EDB which keep my sanity at an acceptable level and make the trials and tribulations of atomic explosions in the bathroom which need mopping up, just that little bit more bearable. Just the prospect of being able to have a conversation without shouting my head off and enunciating every syllable, even if it is for only an hour once or twice a week, is fantastic.

The EDB has just been round now (he hasn’t been for a whole week!) and we’ve been sitting in the sunshine smoking up a storm and using the F word quite a lot. Aaaaah – someone on my wavelength for a change. Terribly un-ladylike, I know, but the reprobate in me needs a little oxygen from time to time. Give the girl a fucking break! Now that he’s gone however, it’s safe to shoehorn my way into my bikini and attempt to soak up a smidgeon of sun before it disappears for the next 11 months. Vaarwel!