The Loo Gets a Facial

So Sod paid me a little visit yesterday to remind me that his little law still exists, just in case i'd forgotten (hardly bloody likely!). Naturally things always seem go awry just after one thinks everything is looking hunky dory. I, stupid f*cking moron that i am, rang the agency to say that i'd be happy to extend my little visit by a week which means as of today i'd only be halfway through as opposed to only 5 days to go. Anyway, as you know, she absolutely loathes me going off for my two hour break every day . I would imagine she walks around the house calling out ‘Hello? Hello? is there anybody here?’. I do feel sorry for her and often have to force myself out before my conscience gets the better of me (I care too much sometimes). Anyway, she was particularly unhappy when I left yesterday but she had been crotchety and weird all morning so I didn’t feel too bad. Upon my oh so hapy return I went into the bathroom and noticed mountains of this chunky white stuff floating in the toilet. I was absolutely horrified as it looked like she had been sick, until on closer inspection I realized it was my very expensive Neutrogena face scrub!! (I only know this because it’s white with distinctive little red scrubby bits in it) Total sense of humour failure - exceptionally un-f*cking-funny. She must have rummaged through my wash bag which sits in the corner with all my stuff in it and squeezed it into the loo?!?! I'll admit i initially thought it could have been a malicious little ‘f*ck you’ but by the same token I don’t imagine she’d be that switched on. I mentioned it to her daughter on the phone last night and she said she’d probably mistaken it for the Harpic or something?!?!!??!?!?!??!?! Stupid me - I mean of COURSE you keep the Harpic in a bath bag next to the toothpaste and tampons, how dumb am I?! F*ck sakes man, maybe advertising wasn't that bad. On the bright side, looks like the toilet bowl is gonna be the prettiest damn loo on the whole block - and glowingly blackhead free at that! Who'd have thought?!